An Open Letter to Dave Ramsey

For those unfamiliar, Dave Ramsey is a financial author, radio host, TV personality, and motivational speaker (thank you Wikipedia).  His approach to finance (and life in general) is rooted in fairly straightforward, practical advice that isn't complicated and doesn't require an advanced degree to understand.  The basic tenets of his material are two-fold: 1. Stick to a budget and 2. Don't spend more than you make.  He lays out plans for how to save money and invest, how to get rid of debt and never borrow again, etc. but if you can make a budget and live within your means, you've pretty much got the jist of what he's saying.

One thing that Dave mentions frequently, throughout all of his various media, is that he hates tuna fish.  When he was broke and recovering, he ate a lot of tuna fish and he says that when he smells tuna fish, he thinks about the times in his life when he was at his lowest and it makes him feel broke.  I'm trying to work my way out of debt and I listen to his show frequently, but every time he says he hates tuna fish, it kinda makes me die a little inside.  I know it's cheap and kinda gross and super-white-trashy, but I really like tuna fish and it got me thinking.  So I sent Dave an e-mail about it:

Dear Dave -

     I'm 27 years old and I've been listening to your show for a while now, trying to work the baby steps and get my life in order.  I'm currently working my debt snowball and living on beans and rice and a whoooole lot of tuna.  I know you hate tuna fish, but I actually kinda like it and I wanted to share something with you about it.  

     When I was a kid, my family would have tuna fish sandwiches for lunch on Sunday afternoons and it was pretty much my favorite part of the week.  I'm not really sure why I liked it so much; I guess it's just one of those things about childhood that sticks out in your memory.  When my parents filed for divorce a little over a year ago, I started looking back on those times as one of the (few) instances of unity that we experienced as a family.  Everybody was at the table and eating and talking together.  The TV wasn't on and we weren't all rushing out to go somewhere or do something individually.  We were a family and we loved each other.

     I won't say that money was the only thing that drove my parents apart, but it certainly wasn't an area of unity for them, either.  They kept separate checking accounts the entire 31 years they were married and constantly beat each other over the heads with "Who pays the bills around here" toward the end when my dad was out of work.  I love my parents to death, but they're both very broken people (aren't we all?) and they passed a lot of scars on to me that I'm now stuck to deal with.  Money is definitely one of them.

     Whenever I eat tuna fish, I'm reminded of the family I used to have and the pain associated with watching it all fall apart.  I think about how blessed I was with those moments of togetherness and how much I want that for myself and my own future wife and kids; how desperately I want to avoid the unbelievable kind of selfishness and heartbreak that divorce carries with it.  I know that tuna fish is cheap and not the tastiest thing in the world, but I also know that by making a plan and staying committed to it, I'm gonna change my family tree and not force-feed my own struggles to my kids.  

     In the course of trying to make your principles for money into my principles for money, I have finished college and quit drinking.  I know you're not in the business of education advice or addiction recovery, but learning to make a budget and living within my means and, yes, eating tuna fish have all definitely been a big part of enabling those changes.  I want to thank you for the encouragement you offer to millions of people, myself included, and for pointing me toward hope and a future without divorce, addiction, or debt.  Keep up the good work, brother.

Sincerely,

Pairsh Wiggins