I was originally just going to get on here, crack a few jokes, and leave you with some YouTube videos I've been watching lately, but then I remembered:
That's what Facebook is for.
I think the biggest temptation for me is to use this as yet another extension of my quirky, off-beat persona. I like that people think I'm weird. I like being able to throw out things you've never heard of or stuff you've forgotten about, because it distracts from all of the "real" stuff I have to deal with. I can keep your attention off of my struggles and my shortcomings by posting old Bert and Ernie bits from Sesame Street or musing about the latest and greatest guitar player I'm currently hooked on. They're such small and meaningless things, but it's such an effective way to keep anything from getting below the surface.
There are huge dangers in it, though, that I don't think most people realize. For one, it sets a tone for public discourse that never encourages others to expand their horizons or think beyond what's comfortable or easy for them. It preys on the part of us that wants to follow something bigger than we are, and we end up trading in the risks (and rewards) of searching out that greater thing for the security that we think comes from aligning ourselves with what's popular. Instead of identifying the things that really make our passions come alive, we allow others to establish a social currency of what makes a person valuable and we work hard to try and earn it. We devote vast sums of our resources to seeking out and acquiring the latest things and forsake the calling of our deepest desires. In short, the idea is this: I don't care if you don't think I'm deep as long as you think I'm cool.
Second, I think there are profound needs of the human soul that can't be fulfilled through the kind of mindless entertainment that are deeply intertwined in our society's technological achievements. It's like I said a few posts back, human beings were made to be strong and do incredible things, but I spend so much time trying to shut down whatever it is inside me that wants me to obey that calling. I want to be able to waste time and money indiscriminately, without a single care in the world for the consequences, but I wasn't wired to do that. I hate being unproductive and lazy. I hate being bored. I hate knowing that there's a whole world of stuff outside and a person inside of me that is made miserable by not going out and interacting with it. I can't be happy and deny who I am. Those are mutually exclusive ideas.
Lastly, coupling both of those ideas together, I have a deep-seated need to live a consistent and unified life; to know that I'm the same person regardless of wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. I need the creativity I exercise through writing or drawing or painting to be a part of who I am everywhere else in the world. I need the strength that drives me to go out and ride my bike for an hour (which I haven't done today, by the way) to carry over into my work and my social interactions. I need to be able to say "I'm a recovering alcoholic" to both my family and the people I go to church with. When I start compartmentalizing, when I start stowing away certain things in certain situations because I don't think they'd fly too well there, I start living out a lie. And if all I'm going to do with this stupid thing is talk about how much I hate celebrity gossip or stuff I think is funny, then it's just another area of my life where I'm not being real.
So, here's what's real: I didn't want to 'blog today. I didn't feel like I had anything to 'blog about and, frankly, am still wondering if I've said anything of value. I'm worried that I'm starting off to a five-day trend of whining about the same crap over and over and curious how much longer I can keep it up, assuming that anybody is still reading this in a week, anyway. Also, I have to be at work in 24 minutes, so I know that I'm kinda just churning stuff out just to say I did it. And I know that's not the best, most ideal condition to be writing in. But I also know that it's better than just trying to be cute and funny so that you guys will tell me that you liked the Sly and the Family Stone song I posted and I can politely smile and move on with my day, pretending like nothing's bothering me.
I guess that's all I've got right now. It may not be the best, but it's not the lowest common denominator, either, and I can live with that. Until next time...
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