Expect God's Greater Reward

Of the topics I've written on over the last few weeks, I was glad that this one came last because this is the main one of these four principles that I am absolutely worst at living out.

If we made an agreement, you and I, in which you promised to give me a briefcase full of $100 bills if I ate a burrito filled with cat hair and dog turds, here is the exact process by which I would determine whether or not I would do it:

1. Does the briefcase filled with $100 bills actually exist?
2. Can it be verified that the $100 bills are not counterfeit?
3. Would this bump me into a different tax bracket?
4. What would I be left with after the government took their cut?
5. What's the catch?
6. How do I know that the briefcase people will follow through with their end of the bargain?
7. Ultimately, is the potential for getting a briefcase full of money worth the possibility and/or likelihood that I'll end up eating a poop-burrito for nothing?

Two things immediately jump out.

One is that I tend to automatically assume a skeptical position, that is, I start and end with the expectation that I'm being set-up or played.  If I expect anything at all, it's to fail and/or be defeated.

Two is that nowhere in any of this does my relationship with the other party ever really come into play.  Sure, I ask the thing about follow-through, but that's just looking for a guarantee; that's different from engaging a relationship.

Trust is rooted in banking on the knowledge you have of another person or entity.  I trust my girlfriend not to sleep around on me because I know that she loves me and is committed to building a good relationship with me.  I trust my bank to hold my money in security and not steal from me because that's illegal and they wouldn't be allowed to exist anymore if they did that.  I trust my friend Bryan to take me climbing and not let me die because he's an expert climber with quality gear.   I trust a lot of people for a lot of things, really.

But when it comes to expectation, I back off.  I trust Bryan to not kill me if I go climbing with him, but I don't expect that he would have or make time to help me get in shape.  I trust my girlfriend to not cheat on me, but I don't expect her to react well if I feel like I should say something to her when she's being too negative or critical of herself or other people.

Sure, I cloak it underneath a sense of pragmatism or humility (whichever fits better at the time) and try to sound like I'm just being fair or realistic.  The truth, though, is that I don't want to be disappointed and hurt when I don't get what I wanted or when things don't work out like I'd hoped.

The interesting/challenging/stupid thing is that God isn't like that.  As he presents himself in the Bible, God bats a thousand in the arena of coming through for people.  True, he may be more concerned with what I need than what I want, but God is not in the business of letting people down or changing the terms at the last minute.

But what I consent to be theoretically true doesn't necessarily play itself out in the decisions I make.

So, who's fault is that?