A few months ago, I took part in a constest-type thing being put on by Jon Acuff where he offered to review your 'blog if you bought his new book. I found out about it late at night after work on the last day of the offer and decided to give it a shot, even though I suspected I was probably too late. A week or so later, the book arrived, and a few months later I still hadn't heard from him, so I chalked up as yet another a really cool thing in life that I missed out on.
Yesterday I got an e-mail from Jon Acuff. He briefly explained that there were more people interested in the offer than he had thought there would be and ended up swamped with 'blogs to read. At first I thought it was a form letter he sent to everybody with the same four or five things ("Love the 'blog!" or "Keep up the great work!") but it seemed like he had actually taken at least a few minutes to read through some of my stuff and gave some decent feedback. Here was one of his tidbits:
"I'd like to see you do a couple of posts with lists in them. Blog readers really love to have short, easy to digest content and I personally have really seen community grow with posts that allow specific, list based things to react to. (For instance, 10 ways Jim Henson changed my life)"
So here you go Jon Acuff. Hope you like it.
My Five Greatest Fears In Life
1. Dropping Stuff Into Toilets - This one actually started before everyone had to buy new cell phones because they dropped theirs while poop-texting. I've never been a part of that club because I've always been very careful when it comes to keeping my personal belongings secure while going to the bathroom. I think it stems from the fact that when I was six years old, I accidentally dropped one of my mom's hair curlers into the toilet and then tried to flush it to cover the mistake only to realize that a.) now my mom is short one hair curler and b.) hair curlers don't flush so good.
2. Getting Pooped On By Birds - I tend to avoid walking under trees for this exact reason. If I'm in a situation where I have to, I'm generally very nervous and dodgy and I try to walk briskly to get out as quickly as possible. Watch this video and tell me that it's not a rational fear. Seriously.
3. Having Things Fly Into My Mouth - Again, I refer you to the previous video, plus one additional for your consideration. As an amateur cyclist, this is probably the most common problem I run into as a result of my fears. I've tried wearing a bandana around my face as a preventative measure, but it made my face sweaty and I got a lot of concerned looks from people whose own top-five lists apparently included "Bicycling Cattle Rustlers."
4. Running Out of Toilet Paper - I feel like this one is fairly self-explanatory, but I think it's exacerbated by the fact that I grew up in a family that included two women and was located 30 minutes away from the nearest Wal-Mart. In short, we were a "high-use" family that could run into a crisis situation fairly quickly. My parents tended to buy most things frozen and in bulk because of how seldom and out-of-the-way grocery store trips were, but sometimes it still got a little dicey in the Wiggins household. Suffice it to say, there are some things you should always be prepared for.
5. Turning Into My Parents - Not to undermine the seriousness of any of the others (because, I assure you, they are all serious), but this is the only one I don't have something plucky or light-hearted to say about. It's also probably the one I feel like I have the least control over because it seems to be happening a little bit more every time I look in the mirror whether I want it to or not. Please don't misunderstand me, I love my parents and they're not bad people, but I just don't want my life to follow the same paths that theirs did. And honestly, I think I'm probably more afraid of what a horrible person it makes me to say that than anything else on the list.
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