On Art

I've been trying to broaden my horizons lately by following 'blogs like Seth Godin's and Michael Hyatt's, that take an instructional-yet-encouraging approach toward working, writing, 'blogging and social media.

It helps, too, that they're successful people I've heard of before and admire a great deal.

Thus far, they've helped me gain a better understanding of what a 'blog is and challenged me to shorten my posts, and keep them centered around fewer, stronger, more concrete ideas.  Even in a small amount of time, I feel like it's starting to make a difference.

But those are mechanical things, and mechanics are easy to fix.

The struggle for me is in the soul: 

Why do I have a 'blog?  What is my 'blog about?

Looking over the ground it's already covered and thinking about where I want it to go, I'd say my 'blog is about the relationships between addiction, art, and spiritual growth.  Of the three, I think the middle one is probably the most absent from what's already been done.

It's ironic, really, given the piece of paper I've strategically hung so that it's the first thing one sees when one walks through my front door.  Apparently the University of Texas deems me to be competent in the study of Art.  Why doesn't my 'blog reflect that?  Better yet, why doesn't my life?

Telling people "I'm an artist" invites certain, inevitable questions.  What do I do?  Where have I shown?  What's my main focus?  Who have I worked with?

I studied Art.  I can talk about Art.  I even know how to make some of it.  Whether any of that is actually worth something or not, I have the information.  Isn't that all it takes?

C.S. Lewis wrote, "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

And I guess that's what art is for me: it's not just a thing that exists in the universe, it's a way of looking at the world and understanding it better.  It make the intangible a thing to be seen and explored.  It enables the frog to be dissected without having to kill it.

I am a Christian and an American and an artist and a man.  I don't have to be a pastor or the president or show you a painting of my penis for any of those things to be true.  It's hardwired into the fabric of who I am and it's okay for me to say it out-loud.

So then, why is it so difficult to convince myself of something that's already the truth?