In case you didn't notice, there was an approximate ten-week delta between my last two posts. In the interim, I both started and lost a job that I really liked with a company I very much loved being a part of. Something I've come to learn over the last year or so is that there's really no right or wrong way to handle calamity or pain, just constructive and not-so-constructive steps forward. In light of that, I'm trying to get back on the horse and figure out what's next for me career-wise, while at the same time acknowledging job-loss as a legitimate setback and giving myself the grace to feel some sadness about it without becoming depressed (I struggle a lot with this last part). It might seem circular, but I feel like I'm dealing with it better than I would have six months ago, and that's good enough for me.
Over the last few days, though, I've been thinking more and more about what a great learning experience this whole ordeal has been from start to finish and I decided to compile a list of everything I took away from my time at Blue Genie:
A. Let Yourself Want It -
Regardless of what opportunity "it" refers to, some of the dumbest things I've ever said are "It's not that big of a deal," or "I'm trying not to get my hopes up about it," because I didn't want to be let down and I thought that it would help if I lowered my expectations. Even if you're doing something as simple as submitting a résumé or landing a first interview, don't cut yourself off from engaging your emotions. If you're excited (or even anxious) about whatever the next step is because you really want the job, then that's a good sign that you've hit on something related to your talents and passions and it can help keep you sharp. If you're sad about losing out on something or scared that you might, then that's a sign that you are (or were) doing something that mattered to you, and that's never a bad thing.
B. Go Big or Go Home -
Enthusiasm often affects quality, not because it equals some special blessing from the magical excitement fairy, but because it usually just means you're willing to work harder and longer at something than someone who's just trying to meet a standard. The best way I know of to communicate enthusiasm is to make loud, borderline-ridiculous decisions and then act on them with conviction. I should warn you, there will always be a feeling that you're going to look stupid and nobody's going to like your idea and you just have to learn to work through that. The important thing is that you finish what you start and do your best because that's the only way I know how to live without regret.
C. Pay Attention -
It might seem naive or overly-optimistic, but there really is opportunity everywhere. The frustration I usually found with that statement is that it doesn't immediately translate into money in the bank, so it's important to learn the difference between "money" and "value" if you're going to try to live by it. Sometimes learning a new skill or building confidence in your abilities is worth a cut in pay. Sometimes being available for things outside of your job is more important than getting overtime. I realize that optimism doesn't pay the bills, but "too safe" can quickly turn into "too stationary." Don't sacrifice opportunity for the sake of predictability.
D. Be Prepared for the Worst -
I know it's kind of a downer, but I think it's true: you can't count on everything to always work out forever. Sometimes things collapse slowly over time and sometimes they blow up before they ever leave the harbor, but setbacks happen and the more surprise and disappointment you heap on them, the higher the hurdle you have to jump before getting back on your feet again. Notice I didn't say "Expect the Worst." That's just pessimism masquerading as pragmatism. But it's good to understand that every opportunity for success (which is basically the same as saying "going somewhere different than where you are") carries an inherent amount of risk (which is basically just not getting there). If the risk of not succeeding is too great to bear, then it probably means that you're being presented with something you can't handle and there are some steps missing between where you are and where you want to be. I'd be lying if I said I don't want to own a home someday, but it'd be foolish to think I could afford one when I can barely pay for my (comparatively inexpensive) student loans.
E. When It's Time, Move On -
This is easily the toughest lesson with the most difficult-to-define of terms. How do you know when it's time? What does it mean to "move on?" Unfortunately, I'm still figuring this one out. However, I'm learning things in recovery that I think apply here:
1. Progress, Not Perfection - At the end of the day, I'm better for having spent the last two months at Blue Genie. I know more, I've done more, and I'm more confident in myself. It's a shame that I didn't get to stay longer, but I really can't say anything negative about what time I did get. I can be proud of the work I did and put the experience I gained to good use moving forward and I don't have to beat myself up or despair at not winning the lottery.
2. The Serenity Prayer - "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." There are certain times that hokey, sound-bite wisdom can be annoying (especially if you're pissed off and sad about losing a job), but there are also certain things in life that you can control and certain things you can't and it's important to identify what those things are because worrying over things you can't control while letting things slip by that you have the power to change is the epitome of frustration and discouragement.
Over the last few months, I've become a pretty firm believer in the idea that your attitude is reflective of the messages you allow yourself to receive. I know it's not the end of the world and something else will come along, but I also know it takes a lot of energy to mount a strong offensive and keep a positive attitude about it. I keep telling myself that I have everything I need at my disposal to be successful, I just feel like I'm missing the drive and determination to get there. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I feel like I lost something very valuable to me and it's tough to come bouncing back after such a heavy blow, but mostly I think it's because I've been living off of fast food all week and haven't showered in two days.
Can you see why I think this stuff is so important?
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